by Justin Mckibben | Dec 21, 2017 | Alcoholics Anonymous, Christmas, Coping Skills, Family, Holiday, Recovery, Sober Fun, Sobriety
(This content is being used for illustrative purposes only; any person depicted in the content is a model)
Welcome one and all to Step 6 of our 12 Steps of Christmas in Recovery. Today we are talking about how that little bit of Grinch might slip out, and how to check ourselves before we Scrooge ourselves.
And no geese-a-laying… lazy geese!
Step 6: Become entirely ready to let go of the Ba Humbug.
In Step 5 we talked more about accountability and recognizing our Grinch-like moments. We encouraged you to speak up and have a support system to call on when things get tough, and now we are talking even more about letting go of those destructive feelings on Christmas.
Of course, the classic “A Christmas Carol” tells us about another infamous grumpy guy, Ebenezer Scrooge. Essentially, he and the Grinch are the same, except Scrooge isn’t a nappy ball of green fur who does B&Es. Instead, Scrooge has the privilege of being visited by some ghosts who show him visions that scare the Christmas spirit back into him.
Scrooge is notorious for his Ba Humbug, a statement made referring to his utter ambivalence toward anything remotely related to goodwill toward others or joy and cheer.
Well, we all tend to have a touch of that Ba Humbug attitude at least once during the holiday. But, much like the Scrooge-man himself, we have to learn to let it go. Hopefully, we all won’t need the ghost of our best friend haunting us to do it. In Step 5 we recognized our character defects and our negative reactions. Here in Step 6, we are making a more conscious effort to let go of our feelings of Ba Humbug and move on. In Step 5, we said we should admit these feelings to ourselves and someone else. This helps us to face what is bothering us and share it with our support. Now we try to move on from those feelings.
Learning about letting go…
Ebenezer Scrooge may have got over his Ba Humbug overnight, but it took a lot of work. Part of that work is preparing you to let go of the attitude or mindset that is making Christmas harder for you. If spending time with your family is proving more difficult than you planned, it’s OK.
Like we went over in the first few steps; we accept that we can’t change them, be open and willing to enjoy the holiday anyway. We make a list of things we would like to get out of the sober Christmas experience. Talk with someone about the negativity you may bring to the equation, and now we put ourselves in the head-space to let go of any bad attitude we are holding on to.
In a lot of 12 Step recovery literature, Step 6 is often talked about as being ready for your Higher Power to remove your defects of character. In essence, you are further recognizing your behavior and preparing to drop the old patterns and attitudes that caused so much chaos. You are asking for that which holds you back to be removed, whether by a god of your understanding or simply your own higher consciousness.
Let us suggest doing the same here for that case of the Humbugs you are carrying around. By whatever means seem adequate to you, seek to let go of the feelings or thoughts that are spoiling your Christmas spirit and keeping you from embracing the joy and connection of your friends and loved ones.
Change of heart…
Part of the reason Scrooge had such a change of heart is that he was shown in great detail how his past and present life were impacted by his Ba Humbug BS. Then, he was shown how staying on this path was going to be the end of him. For some of us in recovery from drug or alcohol addiction, we have a similar view.
If our character defects are allowed to run rampant, we may find ourselves traveling down a destructive path that will lead us to relapse, which could absolutely be the end of us.
So, in the context of the holidays, we look at how continuing down a path of Ba Humbug with negativity and hostility, we can bring a less than cheery end to our own Christmas. Like Scrooge, we can have a dramatic impact on those around us in the present, because we already know what is has done in the past. If we have the self-awareness, we are able to see what this kind of state of mind can do to the future of our Christmas.
A change of heart, which is helped along by the previous steps like acceptance and self-awareness, is one way to make the best out of the bad situations or temptations some of us in recovery can come up against. Be ready and willing to let go of the Ba Humbug as soon as you catch it, so that you can help work toward a better time of merriment for those closest to you.
#12StepsofChristmas
You’re not a mean one, man. Don’t be a Grinch. The holidays might seem hard in recovery, but if you speak up when you need help and keep the spirit of the season in mind, you are sure to have plenty to celebrate. For those struggling this holiday season, ask for help; not just for your family but, for yourself. Give yourself and those who love you the most the best gift you can. If you or a loved one is struggling with substance abuse or addiction, please call toll-free now.
CALL NOW 1-888-922-5398
by Justin Mckibben | Dec 21, 2017 | Alcoholics Anonymous, Christmas, Coping Skills, Family, Holiday, Recovery, Sober Fun, Sobriety
(This content is being used for illustrative purposes only; any person depicted in the content is a model)
As we count down the days until the big guy with the hipster beard in red comes to slide some Christmas love under our trees in exchange for some glutton-free cookies and vegan almond milk, we also take some time to talk about what is important for those in addiction recovery during the holidays.
We’ve made it all the way to Step 5 of our 12 Steps of Christmas in Recovery. Today we are talking about how that little bit of Grinch might slip out, and how to see when the mean green gets out.
Step 5: Admit to ourselves and another human when we are being a Grinch.
In Steps 1, 2 and Step 3 we talked a lot about acceptance and facing unmanageable situations during your Christmas in recovery. In Step 4 we took a lighter approach to making a personal inventory by making it a Christmas wish-list. Now, for Step 5 we are setting ourselves up for more accountability during the holiday.
By this time we have talked about trying our best to accept the things beyond our control, and now we look even more at what we can control; ourselves. Our actions and reactions do have an effect on others, and Christmas time is definitely a time to make sure we are putting our best foot forward in our relationships. So after we have accepted what is out of our control, and set goals for how we hope to make the holiday in recovery a special one, we have to admit when we are being a Grinch.
In the past, some of us might have literally stolen Christmas. Maybe you didn’t disguise yourself as Santa and snatch up the tree and decorations to take Christmas away from everyone else, but you may have done some things in the past that made it hard on your loved ones. Either we actually got far enough down the road of addiction that we were pawning off presents, or we were simply stealing our loved ones’ peace of mind.
This year, let your true love keep her 5 golden rings.
Maybe now your heart has grown a couple sizes since getting clean and sober, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t still a little Grinch in you somewhere. The point is to be accountable to yourself and your loved ones when that mean, green, anti-Whoville machine peeks out.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s easy to be a Grinch when the holiday is in full gear… all the noise, noise, NOISE!
We all need a Max to our Grinch…
I hope I’m not the only nerd who remembers Max, the lovable side-kick puppy who Dr. Seuss’s Grinch character disguised as a reindeer to pull the sleigh on their Christmas tree burglary spree.
You remember? Ok great… I was worried for a minute.
Anyway, Max seemed to be the only one in the majority of the story that the Grinch actually cared about (in his own dysfunctional and unhealthy way). Max was Grinch’s day one; his BFF; his road-dog! Everyone should have at least one friend as good as Max. Because even though the Grinch was so cold, Max was his buddy and had his back.
Now, you might think you can just be friends with your own dog for Christmas, and that’s cool, but you’re missing the analogy.
Having a Max is having someone during the holiday that you can confide your frustrations and difficulties with. If your mood is taking a turn for the worst, or you get stuck in a funk, having a friend like Max to admit your Grinch-tendencies to can help lift some of the weight off your shoulders. In many addiction recovery groups, they talk about how important it is to have people you can be honest with; people you can depend on.
Being able to admit when you are struggling with staying grounded and getting through all the stress brought on by the season can make a huge difference. Sometimes just talking about the temptations or the aggravations can make facing them easier. So this holiday season you should not hesitate to share your struggles with someone who you trust. They might even have your back like Max.
Remember what Christmas is about…
In the classic children’s story, the Grinch realizes that he had never stopped Christmas at all, because even though he stole all the ribbons and tags; Christmas came without packages and boxes and bags. He has the sudden revelation that this special time of year is about coming together with connection and compassion.
This year, when you can take the time to talk to those you love about what is bothering you, you have a better chance of working past it. We all have to remember in recovery that we can bring so much more to the holidays with love and compassion. So when the Grinch in you tries to steal away your own Christmas joy, face it head-on. Admit when it is there for yourself and others. Connect with your support, your sponsor and your family at a time when it is most important.
And seriously, don’t steal those 5 golden rings.
#12StepsofChristmas
You’re not a mean one, man. Don’t be a Grinch. The holidays might seem hard in recovery, but if you speak up when you need help and keep the spirit of the season in mind, you are sure to have plenty to celebrate. For those struggling this holiday season, ask for help; not just for your family but, for yourself. Give yourself and those who love you the most the best gift you can. If you or a loved one is struggling with substance abuse or addiction, please call toll-free now.
CALL NOW 1-888-922-5398
